On being an ally, and why it’s never us v them

Additional thoughts

Jay Northcote

Sometimes in the queer romance community — and especially when there is something going on that’s caused offence and triggered a heated debate — it can feel uncomfortably like an us v them situation, with cis straight allies feeling unwelcome and unappreciated.

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This makes me sad, because I know that the vast majority of the cis straight authors and readers are doing their best to support the LGBT+ community.

But also, I think it’s really important to remember that it’s not us v them. Those of us who identify as LGBT+ still need to be good allies to each other.

Just because you identify as LGBT+ yourself, that doesn’t automatically give you a free pass. We can still fuck up and make mistakes and hurt people. I’ve done that myself, more than once, and it’s hard to admit that and apologise (humble pie tastes like crap) but it’s necessary.

Saying…

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