Bi- erasure and Gay appropriation

The cognitive dissonance it takes for a group of mostly female writers , in a genre that sells mostly to female readers, about gay MEN who are now bent out of shape about supposed bierasure – is so vast it’s scary.

It’s akin to a straight guy who fucks a gay one and says, ‘its not gay, I don’t kiss him.’

If you make or have made money off of gay men’s lives – essentially, because there is so much money to be made here in this genre – but you’re a part of this band wagon and your serious about stopping ‘erasure’ , I can’t think of a bigger hypocrite in the world other than Malaria (yes, I meant that) Trump talking about cyber bullying.

Seriously, fine, let’s stop bierasure. But in the meantime, are you going to give gay men their sexuality back?

Let’s stop gay erasure. 

Can we have this back please?

Oh, and when it comes to making money and slots for all the Cons etc., I think we should be in the front of the line, right?


Why not?

For anyone making this a moral argument about visibility etc. You’re insane. 

This isnt about bierasure. Bi visibility in a m/m (emphasis male/male) genre is impossible other than in passing or in a way that only pays lip service due to the ‘rules’.

This isnt about that.

This is about you making a name for yourself so you can sell more books about gay men. 

BECAUSE this was a genre created by women for women about gay men having relationships. So, in turn, this is your monster. And this is your genre.

And the only reason why bi characters aren’t allowed in – is because – along the way – you forbade them.

You don’t give a damn about bi characters, just like you don’t care , really, about gay men.

Not real ones, anyway. 

We’ve been taken advantage of. You’ve made money off of us. My checks in the mail, tho, right?

I didn’t think so.

Until you’re serious for real about change, y’all need to leave these people alone. 

3 thoughts on “Bi- erasure and Gay appropriation

  1. Hey, Fred. You’ve been much on my mind as I read “A Faithful Son.” And the whole mishegas (Yiddish word, from my husband’s family, meaning “craziness”) in m/m fiction I watch from a distance. Clearly I avoid the authors who sin the most in this respect, and cling to those women whose books seem to really understand – or try to understand – who we are. Bi-erasure is the least of it. I feel attacked for being a “Kinsey 6,” and realize that Kinsey isn’t nuanced enough for this brave new world.

    As my way of dealing with my anxiety over labels – and my need to hold onto my own label like a life preserver – I’ve begun to focus on the Klein Sexuality Grid, which explains everything from GFY to gay-for-pay porn stars. Instead of discarding labels (because I am what I am and there’s no fluidity in that at all…there’s not enough money in the world to make me straight-for-pay, so to speak), I’ve decided we need infinite labels to understand the variety of sexuality and attraction and emotional attachment.

    Then there’s the whole monogamy issue (I just read a fantastic murder/romance (Bitter Legacy, by a woman, British, Dal Maclean, which makes this a central issue, very unusually for m/m). And I realized that the monogamy/hook-up thing is also something that is probably wired into our psyche in some way. Not biological, but cultural? Emotional? The way I am a total romantic and my husband is not at all. I am just wired (as is Gary) for monogamy. Other gay men (and straight people, for that matter) are not. Open relationships might work for them – if they follow rules and make it a priority not to hurt their partners. But Gary and I discovered long ago that the stress of trying to be “open” is outweighed by the contentment of being monogamous. Life is compromise. Age is the ultimate compromise, and it gives you no choice.

    Anyway, as you grapple with m/m and its traumas, I’m right there watching and thinking and trying to make sense of things, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am, in now way, running after women as a whole in this genre. I’m irritated with those who’ve decided to patronize people by declaring themselves the gate keeper between what’s acceptable and what isnt in a patronizing was that sets limitations on work by forcing a label.
      You have to make gfy, bisexuality.
      No. Actually , you dont.
      At all.
      As a matter of fact, a writer doesn’t have to do a damn thing other than write.
      A writer writes – a reader reads. A writer doesn’t have to appeal to a certain reader and a reader doesn’t have to buy their books.
      There is no due diligence required, no patron paying for them to write for them, exactly what they want and how it’s done.
      There are so many different variations of human sexuality and experiences – trying to lock people down to one or one type is ridiculous. Gfy is real. Bisexuality is also , real.
      Telling people one is the other – is wrong.


  2. I think I’ve finally had enough
    I think I maybe think too much
    I think this might be it for us
    You think I’m just too serious
    I think you’re full of shit
    my head spinning so….
    Blow me ( one last kiss) ….
    I think life’s too short for this
    want back my ignorance and bliss
    I think I’ve had enough of this…
    Blow me (one last kiss)

    This is exactly how I feel right now.


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